Should you threaten to resign?
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This happens frequently, and certainly some people are more prone to do it than others. Some people threaten to quit often, casually and over somewhat trivial matters. I’m not going to say it’s a bad idea and you’re wrong to do it, but it’s dangerous game to play so you should know the stakes.
You can’t put the genie back in the bottle
Threatening to resign is somewhere on the emotional coercion scale between threatening to break-up with your significant other, and threatening to not be someone’s friend. You can argue with me on that one; but you get the point. All relationships, even work relationships are some form of intertwined dependence- that’s why they are relationships, not transactions. Threatening to leave is to withdraw your side unilaterally unless your needs are met. This can be seen as coercion or blackmail, and once you’ve done it, it can’t be undone, and once you’ve threatened to walk out of the relationship, it’s human nature to protect oneself.
Using it as a casual threat is dangerous
This does happen, that people drop hints about quitting often- some subtle, some not so subtle. In some circumstances this is a small risk, but in other situations it’s a big risk. If you’re confiding in someone you’re unhappy and you fear there is no other option, this is probably safe. If you stating, implying, dropping hints or outright threatening that people need to change or else you’ll leave, this could backfire on you if it’s perceived as coercion.
They ought to know you’re unhappy
To give a good reason to threaten to resign, is if you really mean it, then they ought to know. Managers make decisions all the time that have significant impacts, without being fully aware of how that will impact people. A restaurant changing its menu (or stopping changing their menu from time to time) may lose their chef over this, and this may be the worst outcome. Your boss ought to know that for you, if the choice is leaving or you continuing to work in that situation you’ll leave, so your boss can make that decision. If you don’t tell them, they won’t know all the facts and potential outcomes of the decision they were making.
Make sure it’s a cold, logical decision
Ever tossed your toys and quit on the spot? Ever seen it happen? It’s dramatic, and great entertainment, but invariably a bad idea. It's your right to resign (see here for more) but once you’ve pulled the trigger, you can’t unpull it, and your boss might take your resignation and refuse to accept your retraction. In some countries the law requires an employer to allow a cooling off period for the employee to come to their senses and potentially retract a hasty resignation (see here) but you don’t want to be relying on your boss to accept a retraction of resignation. If you are going to quit, or even threaten to quit, letting your emotions make the decision is unlikely to work out well.
Don’t think about what your boss will think
Quitting is the ultimate ‘@#$ you’ to your boss, and can be very satisfying. But remember, life moves on, your company will move on, and within two months of you leaving, you’ll be forgotten- it will be like you were never there. Whatever satisfaction you’ll get, the revenge will be fleeting. If you’re thinking about quitting, don’t think about what your boss will think, but what your wife/partner/husband/parent/whoever is close to you will think. Will they be relieved or anxious?
