Being a good leaver

This is the caveat for all articles we publish. These are opinions freely given, and they aren’t going to be right in all situations (see here for our terms and conditions) so use at your own risk. For tailored advice, book an appointment to discuss.

This may be arching your eyebrow.  What type of employer shilling am I about to read?  I’m leaving a place I hate and I have to play nice and pretend I like it?  That’s a fair concern, but don’t worry, this is all about you.  A ‘bad leave’, or ‘leaving under a cloud’ is any form of leaving on negative terms, which can range from a legal settlement, quitting on the spot, telling people off before you go, or just leaving without goodbyes.

We call it work, we don’t call it play

Let’s get rid of the aspirational ‘find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life’ myth we tell kids so they can spend the rest of their lives subconsciously thinking either the world or themselves have let them down.  See here for more on this, but to keep it simple, don’t aim to love your job, aim to not mind it.  Every job has things that irritate, frustrate or madden us, this job may, but so will the next one. You’re not righting any wrong by telling anyone off as you leave the building, because no one owed you a good time.

You’re not showing anyone

At best an angry leaver is good office gossip for a day or two.  After two months, very few people will remember you worked there- organisational cultures move on remarkably quickly.  You may remember someone who left six months ago IF you think about it, but how often does their name come up?  Because of the ‘we need to get stuff done’ nature of all organisations they are very future-focused, and never look back.  If you leave angrily, it’s very unlikely anyone will learn much from your lesson.

The recency effect on your reputation

The primacy and recency effect (see here) means that we remember first and last impressions more.  Which means if you leave in a negative way, this can undo years of good work, solid achievements, great working relationships.  Your boss, management, and co-workers are more likely to focus on how you left, than what you achieved.  So leave well to preserve all the hard work of your prior self.

You’ll probably feel differently in the the future

This is the other side of the above coin; how will you remember your time there?   Work is more than just what we get paid for, it’s an important part of our self-identity and self-worth.  You want to feel good about what you’ve done in your job, and your good connections with your co-workers.  A bad leave diminishes your memory too of your time in that job, and clouds your memory of what went well.  Biting your tongue, putting on a smile and leaving well may be a favour to your future self.

You’ll need a good reference or reputation

Unless you’re retiring, you may need some goodwill for the future.  You may need that boss to give a reference for your job.  Someone who hears about you may be involved in a future recruitment process, or work at that potential employer.  Particularly if it’s a small industry, reputation can be important (see here PG on your career as well), so it may not be in your best interests to take some shots as you walk out the door.

You may be back

This is unlikely, but not impossible.  There are many reasons why you might come back to this company; small industry, you have unique knowledge, it’s rare and interesting work at that company.  Remember that managers, and management come and go; your boss, or even the direction the board is taking, may change in the future.  You may wish to rejoin the organisation in it’s next chapter.