What’s actually happening behind the scene when you’re being disciplined
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You’re up for a warning, or even dismissal. You know what’s going on in your head, but you’re also wondering what’s going in your boss’. So let’s deep dive into that.
Did you do it?
Here’s the simplest fact that is often forgotten. You know if you’ve done it, and they don’t. They might be confident, but confidence comes on a scale, ranging from not very sure, to very confident it’s an ‘open and shut case’; but they don’t know for sure. Whether you did it or not plays a big part in your strategy (see here, here and here), but also remember, that unless you’ve confessed already, they don’t know for sure. Even if you have confessed, they don’t quite know what your explanation will be.
Back office bravado
This is a particularly ugly but common occurrence. Often managers talk a big game in their offices about how they won’t put up with that around here. But as the old saying goes- ‘no batteplan survives engagement with the enemy’, and often employers blunt bravado when discussing the matter amongst themselves, their ‘he’s got to go’ attitude doesn’t last. Often this changes when actually sitting down in front of the person and giving them the bad news, but unfortunately there’s a good chance your boss will have pretty strong opinions already.
Who’s the audience?
Never forget there are people outside of the meeting who will hear all about it. These are two groups- your colleagues and management, and your boss will be thinking about both.
Despite such matters being confidential, your boss will likely assume the rumour mill will hear about it, especially the penalty, because you (or your support person if they are a co-worker -see here for more). This can mean a range of things, but primarily they need to think about what the public opinion will think about the penalty- was it too heavy, or too light? Remember that your co-workers have to cover for you, but they also have opinions on what is fair, and it will influence their opinions of their employer. Your boss is likely worrying about getting it right- not too heavy an outcome, but not too light.
Also your boss will be thinking about their reputation with their peers. See here for what happens if it goes badly. Likely your boss’s boss is also an audience to this, and possibly some peers. As discussed here your boss is trying to convey a sense of competent control over their area, because their mortgage depends on it. Again, they are trying to get the balance right- not too heavily, not too light.
What precedent will be set?
A similar but distinct issue is that (assuming others will know about it) what happens now sets a precedent for how it will be handled in the future. Whatever outcome happens for you, will influence what will happen for others, although every situation is different.
So if you’re treated lightly, then others can expect to be treated lightly. If your penalty is considered severe, this will equally set a precedent- either other employees will really watch their step in this area, and/or will become concerned that they may lose their job if they displease their employer in this way, or similar ways. Your boss knows that what happens in the meeting will have implications for your decisions, and other’s decisions, in the future.
Can they work with you in the future?
Can they trust you in the future? Are you reliable? Have your breached the psychological contract, either from this one thing, or series of things (see here for more on the psychological contract). But that is a subtext your boss is grappling with. They don’t know, or they do know and it’s not good for you – you need to talk them out of it. See here here and here for strategies, but to put it simply, like a partner who suspects they have been cheated on, they need to know if they can trust you again.
